I think i peed on brittanys purse
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
