Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
