Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
