dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
