Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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