yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
