She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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