I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
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