Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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