I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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