he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
She's just so happy...and so naked.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
