Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize