dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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