Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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