Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I'm both gender and math confused
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