i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Randomize
