i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
