Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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