Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
