I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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