so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
