Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
