Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
