the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
kristin has been a bad kristin
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Randomize
