you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
