Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
