What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize