when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
