mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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