i just google imaged poop.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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