and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Randomize
