We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
