found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
