You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
