great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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