careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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