ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize