So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
