It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
