so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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