Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
