I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I just gargled with NyQuil
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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