You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
