He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
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