ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
They left me at home... I'm a liability
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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