she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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