it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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