does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
