i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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