its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You can't just leave with hair like that
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
