scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
