i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
