my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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