Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Randomize
