Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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