she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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