she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
