Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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