My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
