does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
