I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
