I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
