Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
