Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
