Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Randomize
