Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
