the new term for farting is butt boxing.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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