Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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