He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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