Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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